Bitchy for Breakfast

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you so extra, huh? You need a Snickers® or something?

I can’t. I literally canNOT. I’m a big girl. I believe in people eating whatever the fuck they want.

7-Layer chocolate cake? Do it.

Cauliflower? Do it.

Gluten free barley oat something or other that tastes like sandpaper? Do you, boo boo.

But what I CANNOT stand, are the people who eat whatever they want AND THEN TRY AND MAKE PEOPLE EAT IT TOO, OR SHAME THOSE WHO DON’T EAT THE WAY THEY DO, OR CALL PEOPLE OUT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM WITH NEGATIVITY.

That’s why I don’t fuck with vegans.

I went on a date with a vegan once who pulled a bag of kettle corn out of the trash. When I said I couldn’t believe he was eating it, he told me he couldn’t believe I was eating a hot dog. Hmm. Food from the trash? Or a freshly cooked hotdog? I guess you could make the case they’re both garbage. But then he spent the next week trying to invite me over so he could cook everything vegan and convince me to join the dark side. Um, sorry hoe. I don’t negotiate with food terrorists. I’m anemic and I needs me my meat. When I want to be converted, I’LL let YOU know.

popo breakfastANYWAY. I bring this up because in North Wales, a police team was minding their own damn business having a team breakfast and they posted this pic. Now, I’m not a huge breakfast foodie, but I do enjoy myself some scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits, etc. Some of you probably like pancakes, oatmeal, waffles and jams. I don’t mind. Do you mind? So then why is this trick popping out the cuts with her nonsense!?

Speaking as a tax payer I’d prefer them to be less selective when answering questions and perhaps not post breakfast pics that offend vegetarian/vegan followers – pretty thoughtless considering the job title they have.

Oh okay. I see you, boo. First of all, that little ‘questions’ remark is outta left field and ain’t got shit to do with breakfast choices. Second of all, since when do we equate being a cop with protecting your food sensitivities? How about protecting communities and saving lives? Why is this shit so damn personal for you? Now if it had been a slaughtered cow, you mighta had a case. But we’re talking strictly PG. And if you don’t like what’s on the TV, you change the channel! You don’t call the network and demand they overhaul their programming.

You vegan, bae? Animals are friends, not food? Scroll on by, bitch! Nobody’s stopping you. Them IG food pics may be tired, but my first amendment rights say I can post pictures of whatever the fuck I like. “You can please some of the people all the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

Today’s just not your day. Let it go, Bae.

The #PetulantPresident Strikes Again

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you so unbelievable, huh? You need a Snickers® or something?

I don’t fuck with politics. I don’t have a political bone in my body. I can’t list all the past Presidents in order and the years they served. I can’t extrapolate on all the different branches of the government. Nor can I really explain to you our judicial system.

I do, however, fuck with priorities. So TELL ME WHY the FOTUS is planning on hosting an impromptu awards show that no one gives a shit about? Instead of trying to keep North Korea’s finger off the trigger, he’s STILL whining about Fake News. Here’s a headline for you Donny: NO ONE CARES.

IMG_0284

Even if I’d never seen pictures of you holding your daughter the way men hold women they’re sexually involved with. Even if I’d never seen and heard video of you spewing sexist, mysogynistic rhetoric. EVEN if I hadn’t watched you talk the American People in circles during the election. ALL it would take was a cursory glance of your TWITTER account to know you are wholly unfit to be President of the United States. How we, as the American people, let ourselves end up in this particular pickle I will never understand.

But come on bruh. This ‘fake news’ bullshit has GoT to stop. Only children throw tantrums when they don’t like what others have to say. Especially if it’s true. I mean, I know you have tiny hands, but are you a child? You have to emotional maturity of what, a five year old?

If you won’t be honest with yourself, at least be honest with us. As the 45th President of the United States of America you owe it to us. AND GET THE FUCK OFF TWITTER. Just…Let it go, Bae.

#walkupnotout

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you so ignorant, huh? You need a Snickers® or something?

You know what? Maybe I need the motherfucking Snickers®, ’cause I’m flabbergasted.

On Valentine’s Day of 2018, in Parkland, Florida, a young man shot up his school. Devastating. 17 people died, 17 more were injured. Devastating. First and foremost, no one is disputing that.

WE NEED GUN REFORM IN AMERICA. These babies that are having a bad day, or a rough life, or can’t get laid, or don’t like their mommy SHOULD NOT HAVE ACCESS TO FIREARMS. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in mental health. I know there are things we go through that we can’t handle alone, especially as we go through puberty. Hormones are raging, everything’s a big deal, and we don’t know which way is up.

walkupnotoutBut this. FUCKING THIS. Sometimes I can’t even, but right now I absolutely cannot even. #walkupnotout!?!?!?!? Are you seriously trying to make young boys and girls – all going through the same difficult period in their lives – responsible for one another’s mental health? Guess what, fucktard? There are people trained for that. They’re called psychologists, therapists, counselors, etc.

Do I think we should be nicer to our peers? YES. Do I think it’s going to happen because people are victim blaming? NO. First of all, manners, respect, common decency towards your fellow man – these teachings start at home. So instead of calling out students who’ve just survived a traumatic attack, or judging all students based on potential acts of unkindness, let’s remind parents and families to address these issues at home. Because guess what? Parents are afraid. They’re afraid of not having the perfect child, they’re afraid of not being seen as a perfect family. There is a culture of fear in America when it comes to honesty and meaningful conversation. And I don’t mean to say that’s the only cure, but I think it’s a good place to start. And no, my goal is not to place the blame on absentee, or mediocre parenting. There is no one place to lay blame. We call it a community for a reason.

HOWEVER. Asking students to walk up not out is like telling girls to stop wearing short skirts so they’ll stop getting raped, or telling Black people to stop wearing hoodies so they stop getting shot. Because guess what? A girl wearing sweatpants can be rufied and violated. A respected member of the Black community can still be pulled over and end up dead.

I’m not here to chime in on the guns kill people vs. people kill people debate. All I’m saying is access is too easy, abuse is too prevalent, and it’s fucking ridiculous for us to ask teenagers to take responsibility for their classmates’ mental health when they can barely see through their own emotional turmoil.

So until you set into motion changes that will drastically increase the safety of our future generations in an environment that should always be a safe space, I support all the walkouts. Let it go, Bae.

Bicyclists are the WORST

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you a psychopath, huh? You need a Snickers® or something?

I don’t fuck with bicycles. When I was ten my bicycle and I got into a fight. By the end, one of us was on the ground hurt and in pain. It wasn’t the bike. I don’t fuck with bicyclists either. Majority tend to forget the rules of the road apply to them. But let’s be real, if your bike gets into a fight with my car cause your entitled ass didn’t want to stop at a stop sign, only one of us is gonna be sorry. Hint: it ain’t me.

bicyclistBut the real reason I don’t fuck with bicycles or bicyclists? They cray. Ah, Berlin. A city in a country I been dying to check out. Except some crazy ass motherfucker is over there gallivanting on his bike, throwing acid in ladies’ faces. I’m sorry, say wha??? You’ve gotta have some real serious issues, a real hatred for the female sex to ride around disfiguring strangers in your free time. There have been five confirmed cases, and they’re just now mentioning possible links between them. So either homie didn’t grow up with enough love in the home, or German women are over there just murdering male egos left and right.

Regardless, get your head shrunk, start kickboxing or take all the chill pills. Hoodoo voodoo, kick rocks or get the fuck out. But if you weren’t getting laid before, you certainly won’t be getting that punani now. Let it go, Bae.

 

Mayor de Blasio against The World

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

ed-mullinsHey Bae, why you profiling, huh? You need a snickers or something? Sergeants Benevolent Association president Ed Mullins: you’re a fucktard. Mayor de Blasio has been trying to hold it down for the people – all people – in NYC. Yes, he’s up for re-election this year, and sure he’s thinking about his constituents. But I have to give this dude some motherfucking props for standing up for what’s right.

#notmypresident Drumpf wants to build the Great Wall of America, ban people from traveling and deport residents based solely on their country of origin. Mullins is wholly on board, stating “we can’t ignore people who commit crimes, harbor them, because we want to get votes in an election year.” (amNEWYORK). UM, are you aware that being a criminal and being an immigrant are NOT one in the same? It’s like saying all black people are lazy , all asian people can’t drive, and all muslims are terrorists.

de Blasio – being the fucking BOSS that he is – responded with a promise to cooperate in cases with “proven public safety threats”. NYPD Commissioner James P. O’Neill backed him up stating “This department does not enforce administrative warrants issued by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents or federal immigration judges solely in connection with civil immigration violations.” (amNEWYORK).

So boy BYE to all y’all jockstraps in favor of needlessly tearing apart families for no other reason than your misguided fear of strangers and overwhelming need to feel excessive security. Build enough walls between you and ‘them’, you wind up imprisoning yourself. Let it go, Bae.

Mentall Illness and the Death of Blacks

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you in denial, huh? You need a snickers or something?

I’m tired. I’m tired of fucking people who say America’s ‘race problem’ doesn’t exist. I’m tired of my people being killed in group loads because of stupid ass supremacist and hateful ideologies. I’m tired of white people being arrested like this:

And black people being arrested like this (GRAPHIC):

I’m tired of mental illness as a motherfucking excuse for the death of black people, whether by the hands of an everyday citizen, at the hands of a cop, or by the victims’ own alleged suicide which happened under mysterious circumstances while in police custody. (Read up on Sandra Bland.)

Please understand: people can be mentally ill. People can be fucked the fuck up. But RACISM IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. Author Julia Craven (@CurlyCrayy) totes it is a way to shield white offenders from having to account for their actions. If y’all read my post about the men’s rights movement you know I agree. It’s not a fucking excuse.

America, we need to do better at punishing those responsible, regardless of what position the offender holds in society. Black people are twice as likely to die at the hands of police while unarmed, and police have a 50% chance of walking away from the incident with little to no sanctions. That’s a motherfucking shame. Sorry Bae, can’t let this one go.

 

#notallwhitepeople

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae. Why you so butthurt, huh? You need a snickers or something?

Dear white people, let’s clear the air: You’re racist.

“No I’m not!”

“How dare she!”

“That was uncalled for.”

“Why do they always have to play the race card?”

“God, everything is black and white with them.”

#whitetears

Are you finished? Good. Now we can talk. I’m sure every porcelain bone in your body is fighting what I said; Is working double time to convince you that you don’t have a single racist, prejudiced or discriminatory bone in your body. Unfortunately, they lyin’. The entire society of today was built on the backbone of slavery and continues to perpetuate a mentality of white privilege and superiority. For fuck’s sake, it was written into the motherfucking U.S. Constitution:

“Article I, Section. 2  
Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.”

“Article I, Section. 9, clause 1.  
The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.”

“Article IV, Section. 2.
No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.”

“Article V
…No Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article.”

I know, I know.

“Desegregation!”

“Integration!”

#alllivesmatter

You probably think PoC (people of color) walk around all day, looking for someone to call a racist. Reverse racism! We’re starting shit! Blah blah blah. The truth is, unless you’re one of those white people who has ZERO friends of color, you’ve offended a friend with some racist shit. And probably more than once. Your PoC friend was just too polite – or valued your relationship too much – to say anything. But the thing is, we make excuses for you ALL. THE. TIME.

“Well, they didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not their fault. They don’t know.”

“How could they understand when they’ve never lived it?”

But guess what? We’re in the motherfuckin’ 21st century, so get a fucking clue. As a member of the dominant population (and I use that term technically, not personally), you are the ONLY group of people that can walk away from racism and pretend it doesn’t exist. The rest of us live it EVERYDAY. It may not be overt, and we may not address it for the sake of sanity, and avoiding involuntary manslaughter. But when we do take the time to educate you, from a place of ‘that was racist’ as opposed to ‘you’re racist’…LISTEN.

There’s no such thing as ‘casual racism’. It is hurtful, demeaning and has lasting consequences for every PoC, no matter their social, economic or other status. If you really want to be #notracist, don’t invalidate PoC experiences by denying their validity. Have a conversation, learn something new, and spread the message next time a friend of yours fucks up. Because they will. But don’t look to us – survivors of decades of rape, murder and invalidation – for sympathy. You’re not the victim here. Let it go, Bae.

Men Going Their Own Way

~ Danika Cole ~ 1 Comment

Hey, Bae. Why you so misogynistic, huh? You need a snickers or something?

Let. Me. Be. Clear. As a Black woman in America, I will never accept mental illness as an excuse for burgeoning hate speech or crimes. I’m a firm believer that hate isn’t born, it’s bred. It’s taught, like a fucked up education system. That being said, this motherfucker is CRAY.

Men’s Rights Activist (MRA) Peter Nolan has declared it open season on killing women – and politicians and police officers – as retribution for…’perceived injustices’.

WTF, Bae?

According to Wikipedia, The men’s rights movement (MRM) is comprised of a plethora of “groups and individuals who are concerned about what they consider to be issues in numerous areas of society (including family law, parenting, reproduction, domestic violence) and government services (including education, compulsory military service, social safety nets, and health policies) that they believe discriminate against men.”

Basically they’re a bunch of men convinced feminism has given women too much power in certain societal spheres. #MRM members “contest claims that men have greater power, privilege or advantage than women do”, and that the “women’s movement has gone too far” (Wikipedia). Clearly they’re ignoring shit like woman having to fight for the right to vote, or still not receiving equal pay in the workplace. And while we as women are supposed to feel sorry for them because we demand to be listened to when we say we’ve been raped, or because after carrying a baby inside us for nine months we want veto power when it comes to allowing deadbeat, alcoholic, violent, irresponsible, dangerous or otherwise unfit father figures near our children, men are busy throwing tantrums with sites like NiceGuy’s American Women (Mostly) Suck Page, and A Voice for Men.

Now, there may be a point or two I can agree with. When it comes to snipping the goodies – how ’bout you wait and let a boy choose? That shit’s irreversible. But let’s not pretend that as hetero, White men you don’t have privilege in society. That’s like saying racism doesn’t exist when motherfuckers are dying from it everyday. All I’m saying is, stop the bitch whining and grow the fuck up. Y’all tryna stay on top – and that’s cool. But don’t expect us women to crawl back into the kitchen with an apron on and some oven mitts. If we go down, we go down swingin’. Hard. Let it go, Bae.

#sunsNOToutgunsNOTout

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae.  Why you so stupid, huh?  You need a snickers or something?  Yeah, yeah, we know.  It’s a motherfucking free country and you’re gonna ‘do you, booboo’ all day every day: you want a hot handgun?  You gon’ get one.  You wanna try and sell that shit to an undercover cop?  You gon’ do that too, AND get your ass pinched.  That’s cool, Bae.  I ain’t mad atcha.  You ain’t hurting nobody but yourself.

But when you start fucking around with other people’s lives?  Like babies and shit?

Nah, bruh.  That shit don’t fly.  How’re your stupid asses gonna let a baby play with a gun!?  Handgun, pellet gun DON’T MATTER.  If that baby girl had pulled that trigger somebody woulda got hurt.  And considering you let her put that dirty ass weapon IN HER MOUTH, my bet is it would have been her.  Now I recognize all sides of the story seem to agree the magazine was out, but that’s one hell of a chance to take that there wasn’t a little surprise sitting up in the motherfucking chamber.  Regardless, I. AM. DONE. with dumb bitches leaving handguns, live or not, within arms reach of their babies or anyone else who’s liable to start pointing and pulling without knowing what the fuck they’re doing.  Veronica Rutledge, 29, is a prime example:

So y’all gun-happy motherfuckers can say whatever the fuck you want.  I will never be for the right to bear firearms when it’s too easy for ‘responsible gun owners’ to make such stupid ass mistakes.  Especially when that ‘responsible’ access heightens the likelihood of crazy, violent, criminal bitches getting their trigger finger on.  Y’all wanna see how many more unfortunate accidents we can rack up before you get a clue?  You don’t need guns anyway.  Stop killing animals.  What the fuck they ever do to you?  Shit.  Let it go, Bae.

Family Feud: Mayor de Blasio vs. The NYPD

~ Danika Cole ~ Leave a comment

Hey, Bae.  Why you throwing a tantrum, huh?  You need a snickers or something?  GROW THE FUCK UP.

On Saturday, December 20, 2014, Ismaaiyl Brinsley executed two NYPD officers who were sitting in their car, before killing himself and after shooting his ex-girlfriend – who talked him OUT of suicide – in the stomach.

…

Clearly, this man was fucking CRAY, so I in no way support his actions.  And claiming he did it for Mike Brown and Eric Garner does little for the good fight most of us are fighting.  HOWEVER, I need the (selected) NYPD to get them motherfucking two-by-fours out their collective asses.

“He could have killed police anywhere along the line in those 3 1/2 hours in any city in the country, but he chose New York,” Mullins said. “Why? Because the attention to the demonstrations and the lawlessness that was occurring enabled that type of an atmosphere.” – Sergeants Benevolent Association President Ed Mullins

Lemme get this straight.  You’re blaming the Mayor – who has supported the NYPD during his first year in office – for the execution of two officers by a man who should have long since been put in a fucking nut house?  Because he dared express concern on the heels of #MikeBrown and #EricGarner and support protesting for changes in tactics used when dealing with Black people?  Knowing that homie has a BLACK SON AND HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE SCARED!?  How the fuck are we supposed to sympathize with your stupid asses fighting for your ego, when the Mayor is fighting for his motherfucking son?

” ‘I think that Mayor de Blasio has to be more sensitive in terms of the words or statements he makes concerning the police.’ – Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos

Skelos also rejected concerns that police tactics have unfairly targeted minorities.  ‘I personally don’t believe that,” Skelos said. “I think they do their job. I believe they are color blind when it comes to performing their duties.’ “

Of course you think they’re colorblind!  You’re an old, white man in a place of power.  You EPITOMIZE White Privilege.  It’s people like you that wrote the motherfucking handbook on racism, so that the legal definition would always fall in your favor.  It’s easy to claim the police are colorblind cause you don’t have to deal with their racist bullshit all day every day.  It’s not YOUR life you’re afraid for.  It’s not YOUR son, father, uncle, nephew getting shot.  Don’t fucking tell me they’re colorblind.  If they were, we’d be having a conversation.  Instead, the NYPD is rolling around on the ground, kicking and screaming.

Case in point.  This is 12-year-old Tamir Rice.  Tamir Rice had the unfortunate stupidity to walk around waving an airsoft, fake gun.  Some might say he was looking for trouble, and I might be inclined to agree as I can’t for the life of me understand what the fuck this kid was thinking.  That said, WATCH THE MOTHERFUCKING VIDEO.  Cops pull up right next to an ‘armed suspect’.  Since when is it proper police procedure to stand yourself directly at the opposite end of a gun?  Or not use your PA system to order the suspect to ‘drop their weapon and get down on the ground’?  Or call in some motherfucking backup?  Instead, three cops jump out the car and start shooting, no questions asked.  Legit 1.5 seconds from getting out the car, first bullet flies.  When the fuck did they have time to try and resolve shit peacefully?  Oh, that’s right.  THEY DIDN’T.  They hopped out the car slangin’.  Don’t believe me?  Watch the video.  I’ll wait.

This is why I cannot take the NYPD’s collective temper tantrum seriously.  Even NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton recognizes they’re acting like punk ass babies:

“Deeply upset, Bratton lamented that the front pages of The Daily News and other newspapers “focused on them, the selfishness of that action, the selfishness of it.”

“The funeral is no place for that,” he said. “Come demonstrate outside City Hall. Come demonstrate outside police headquarters, but don’t put on your uniform and go to a funeral and engage in a political action.”

Bratton had explicitly asked officers not to engage in a repeat of the back-turning that hundreds of cops had done earlier earlier at the Ramos funeral. But hundreds defied Bratton anyway.”

Apparently, by turning their backs on the Mayor during the funeral, they also had to turn their backs on the family.  That these motherfuckers went to a funeral to pay respects for their fallen comrades, and managed to turn shit around and make it about their hurt pride surpasses all levels of selfishness.  And that they are willing to let this outburst influence their work ethic not only affects the Mayor, but the entire population of New York City.  Since when do officers protect their fucking ego over the lives of the citizens they swore an oath to protect?  Since when did this become an ‘us vs. them’ type of situation?

“The belief that the [police] department is never wrong, that it never needs redirection or reform, only reverence. This is the view peddled by union officials like Patrick Lynch, the president of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association — that cops are an ethically impeccable force with their own priorities and codes of behavior, accountable only to themselves, and whose reflexive defiance in the face of valid criticism is somehow normal.”

I can’t even.  None of you deserve to die.  But I would think, in light of recent events, you could better understand the fear minorities walk around with on the daily.  Only difference: they can’t walk around armed to the max, ready to protect themselves when motherfuckers come calling.  Y’all can do better, long as that pride doesn’t fuck up with situation.  Stop fighting to be the problem and become part of the solution.  Just let it go, Bae.