The #PetulantPresident Strikes Again

Hey, Bae. Why you so unbelievable, huh? You need a Snickers® or something?

I don’t fuck with politics. I don’t have a political bone in my body. I can’t list all the past Presidents in order and the years they served. I can’t extrapolate on all the different branches of the government. Nor can I really explain to you our judicial system.

I do, however, fuck with priorities. So TELL ME WHY the FOTUS is planning on hosting an impromptu awards show that no one gives a shit about? Instead of trying to keep North Korea’s finger off the trigger, he’s STILL whining about Fake News. Here’s a headline for you Donny: NO ONE CARES.

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Even if I’d never seen pictures of you holding your daughter the way men hold women they’re sexually involved with. Even if I’d never seen and heard video of you spewing sexist, mysogynistic rhetoric. EVEN if I hadn’t watched you talk the American People in circles during the election. ALL it would take was a cursory glance of your TWITTER account to know you are wholly unfit to be President of the United States. How we, as the American people, let ourselves end up in this particular pickle I will never understand.

But come on bruh. This ‘fake news’ bullshit has GoT to stop. Only children throw tantrums when they don’t like what others have to say. Especially if it’s true. I mean, I know you have tiny hands, but are you a child? You have to emotional maturity of what, a five year old?

If you won’t be honest with yourself, at least be honest with us. As the 45th President of the United States of America you owe it to us. AND GET THE FUCK OFF TWITTER. Just…Let it go, Bae.

#sunsNOToutgunsNOTout

Hey, Bae.  Why you so stupid, huh?  You need a snickers or something?  Yeah, yeah, we know.  It’s a motherfucking free country and you’re gonna ‘do you, booboo’ all day every day: you want a hot handgun?  You gon’ get one.  You wanna try and sell that shit to an undercover cop?  You gon’ do that too, AND get your ass pinched.  That’s cool, Bae.  I ain’t mad atcha.  You ain’t hurting nobody but yourself.

But when you start fucking around with other people’s lives?  Like babies and shit?

Nah, bruh.  That shit don’t fly.  How’re your stupid asses gonna let a baby play with a gun!?  Handgun, pellet gun DON’T MATTER.  If that baby girl had pulled that trigger somebody woulda got hurt.  And considering you let her put that dirty ass weapon IN HER MOUTH, my bet is it would have been her.  Now I recognize all sides of the story seem to agree the magazine was out, but that’s one hell of a chance to take that there wasn’t a little surprise sitting up in the motherfucking chamber.  Regardless, I. AM. DONE. with dumb bitches leaving handguns, live or not, within arms reach of their babies or anyone else who’s liable to start pointing and pulling without knowing what the fuck they’re doing.  Veronica Rutledge, 29, is a prime example:

So y’all gun-happy motherfuckers can say whatever the fuck you want.  I will never be for the right to bear firearms when it’s too easy for ‘responsible gun owners’ to make such stupid ass mistakes.  Especially when that ‘responsible’ access heightens the likelihood of crazy, violent, criminal bitches getting their trigger finger on.  Y’all wanna see how many more unfortunate accidents we can rack up before you get a clue?  You don’t need guns anyway.  Stop killing animals.  What the fuck they ever do to you?  Shit.  Let it go, Bae.

George Zimmerman. Arrested. AGAIN.

George ZimmermanHey, Bae.  Why you so violent, huh?  You need a snickers or something?  First and foremost, your punk ass killed Treyvon Martin so I ain’t even trying to give you no motherfucking spotlight.  But your stupid ass got arrested again!?  And this time for busting your bae up with a wine bottle!?  First of all, that bitch needs to leave you, cause this the second time you been called the cops on for domestic assault.  Why she still with you after the last time TWO YEARS AGO don’t make no kinda sense.  But for real though, you seeing an exorcist to manage that demon you got?  Cause you all kinds of messed up.  Why you gotta walk around so damn angry all the time?  Beating on people, standing your ground and shit.  Fuck that.  Sit your punk ass down.  Hitting women and shooting unarmed teenagers.  You think that shit makes you a man?  You the biggest chump I seen in the longest.  Whatever grind you on is some broke business and you need to jump that ship right quick.  People like you make me sick, walking around with a misguided sense of entitlement, thinking people need to roll out the red carpet for you.  You lucky nobody got a carpet with your name on it, shit you tryna pull.  Go to the gym and do some yoga.  Attend a motherfucking meditation retreat.  Do SOMETHING.  Find your fourth chakra and put some love in the world.  That anger gonna burn you up, taking bitches and babies down with you.  Let it go, Bae.